Posted on May 4, 2011
If you are unwilling to accept “NO”, then “YES” has no meaning.
CONSENT IS …..
- a mutual, voluntary, wanted, enthusiastic, informed, honest verbal agreement.
- respecting boundaries through open and free communication with your partner about sex.
- based on CHOICE and is ACTIVE.
- being able to communicate the type of sexual relationship you want.
- knowing your personal beliefs and values and respecting your partner’s.
- knowing that you BOTH really want and desire each other.
- a process that must be asked for, talked about, and agreed upon every step of the way.
CONSENT IS NOT...
- coerced, implied or assumed – even in the context of a relationship.
- someone having sex with you when you are high or drunk.
- silence or not responding.
- someone telling you that they will spread rumors about you if you do not have sex.
- giggling, changing the subject or squirming away.
- someone forcing you to touch or be touched.
- saying “YES” because you feel pressured or afraid of how your partner will react to “NO”.
- someone continuing to pressure you for sex, despite your resistance or uncertainty, until you finally give in.
- the absence of “NO” (Not saying "NO" does not mean "YES")
- “I’m not sure if I’m ready”, “I don’t know if I want to”, “I think I’ve had too much to drink”…these statements, and others, mean “NO”
Consent CANNOT legally be given if:
- The person you are with is incapacitated as a result of alcohol and/or other drug consumption
- The person you are with is under the age of 16
- The person you are with is unconscious, unaware or otherwise physically helpless